Single Life

I Am No Damsel In Distress

6:30 AM

I Am No Damsel In Distress
The only thing we single ladies need to be rescued from 
is the notion that we need to be rescued.
-Mandy Hale


Let me share the article I've written for Thought Catalog a year ago.


I am no damsel in distress.

After a guy friend read my previous post Good Men Still Exist, he pointed out one line which he said is the problem with women: "There are still knights in shining armor out there."

Most women wait for their prince charming to come and rescue them from their miserable single life and offer them happily ever after. I repeat, most women. Not all.

Only those (women or men) who are not happy with their lives need rescuing.

The truth is, the only person who can bring you out of your misery is yourself. 

No fairy godmother or magic spell can transform your pumpkin into a golden carriage.

I know that I hold the power and that I have the last say as to how my ending will be.

As Mandy Hale often reminds the single, “Design a life so amazing that you don’t want to be rescued from it.” Tweet

When you are enjoying life, finding happiness in all that you do and in all the places you visit, you invite people to join you in your journey. You don’t make them take pity on you and help you out of your misery.

When you’re on top of the world, only those who are bold and courageous enough will make the effort to be with you. Only the secure and the mature will appreciate you.

You become a challenge.

You will discourage the complacent and the weak. You will make the insecure envious. Thus, expect a number of admirers and a few haters. You unknowingly repel toxic people. That’s a bonus!

I don’t want to be that poor naive princess who sits around (or sleeps) in her castle all day, waiting for a prince to swing by and hopefully get a glimpse of her, and finally set her free from her “prison tower”.

I’d rather be out there, fighting for my kingdom, resisting evil stepmothers or witches or whomever is trying to steal my happiness, protecting my people, seeing the world in all it’s majesty---getting a life.

I am no damsel in distress.

I am not impressed by your shining armor. I can fight my own battles. You don’t have to rescue me, sweetheart, but you’re welcome to join me in my kingdom anytime.

First, show me your battle scars and tell me your war story. You might be just another frog who needs rescuing. In which case, you picked the wrong princess.


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Lux is a social entrepreneur, and investor with a passion for romance novels and an uncanny knack for turning words into marketing magic at Internet Marketing Ad. She believes all things are possible through Christ.

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67 comments

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  1. Anonymous9/3/14, 12:00 PM

    Unfortunately, some knights in shining armor are just fools wrapped in tin foil.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A11/26/14, 2:57 PM

      Great post, Lux. And that reply is just perfect.

      Delete
  2. M&M FASHION BITES3/11/15, 6:20 PM

    Nice photo :) M&MFASHIONBITES mmfashionbites.blogspot.gr

    ReplyDelete
  3. thomas3/11/15, 10:15 PM

    You surely don't look like you are in distress with that sword in hand.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Launna 3/11/15, 10:16 PM

    I grew up in that era that I was taught I needed to be rescued... I know I don't need that but I sure would love to have someone share my kingdom... it can get a little lonely sometimes ♡

    ReplyDelete
  5. Unknown3/11/15, 11:36 PM

    You're an incredibly strong woman Lux!
    Xx,
    Nilu Yuleena
    BIG hair LOUD mouth

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sandee3/12/15, 12:05 AM

    You and I are much alike. If you're miserable a man isn't going to change that. It will just add their drama to the mix. Sharing life with someone is a good thing, but it's not what makes you you. I was single for many years and enjoyed that very much. Then one day hubby just was there. He'd been there all the time, I just hadn't noticed. The biggest thing was I wasn't looking and that's how I ended up with my soul mate.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

    ReplyDelete
  7. Valerie (Our Ruins)3/12/15, 4:51 AM

    Such a great post..so inspirational!

    http://ourruins.com

    ReplyDelete
  8. Coco3/12/15, 5:13 AM

    Go girl! Great motivation!
    Baci,
    Coco et La vie en rose - Valeria Arizzi

    ReplyDelete
  9. Liz Blocker3/12/15, 5:30 AM

    It's true - we have to be our own knights. Tell you what, though: it's great to meet another knight to go riding around the country with, doing good deeds and rescuing people ;) I'm mostly joking, but I DO love having my partner in crime.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous3/12/15, 6:44 AM

    I agree completely! One of my favourite quotes is "She needed a hero, so that's what she became"



    Fashionably,
    Patricia
    http://www.wingsforliberty.com/

    ReplyDelete
  11. Grandma Kc3/12/15, 6:54 AM

    Excellent post and attitude. I once read "happiness is an inside job" and it pretty much is. Happy people attract happy people.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Kati Rose @ Constantly Seeking Wonder3/12/15, 7:57 AM

    YES YES YES. I am a strong, powerful, and independent woman. I don't need a man to save me. In fact, I would actually be pretty upset if a man tried to always swoop in and figure things out for me. I need to do it on my own okay? I hate that in popular culture that's always the big ideal and it's so misogynistic. Women are not less than beings.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Seersucker Sass3/12/15, 9:20 AM

    I love how you look at life! I met my boyfriend at a point in my life when I wasn't looking for anything and was so content on my own. You are a bad ass!

    XX, SS || A Little Seersucker Sass

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous3/12/15, 4:54 PM

    Exactly! I have a T shirt that says: Self-rescuing princess on it.

    ReplyDelete
  15. John's Island3/12/15, 8:05 PM

    Hi Lux, Interesing, but your last two paragraphs seem contradictory. Welcome, but then rejection? I doubt any man is going to mistake you for a princess needing rescuing. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lux G.3/12/15, 8:50 PM

      Welcome if you're a real knight. Not welcome if you're just another fool wrapped in a tinfoil pretending to be someone noble. ;)

      Delete
  16. Beauty Unearthly3/12/15, 8:47 PM

    Beautiful post, really interesting...thx for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Mary Hone3/12/15, 10:14 PM

    I think more and more women are realizing this. And that's good. You have to be happy with yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  18. alessandra3/13/15, 1:23 AM

    Great post!
    www.alessandrastyle.com

    ReplyDelete
  19. Rajesh3/13/15, 2:02 AM

    Good one.

    ReplyDelete
  20. My Inner Chick3/13/15, 3:56 AM

    ****I am no damsel in distress.****
    Yes.
    Such a empowering statement!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Carver3/13/15, 5:07 AM

    Great shot and narrative too.

    ReplyDelete
  22. A Cuban In London3/13/15, 5:07 AM

    Very powerful thoughts here, sista! :-)

    Greetings from London.

    ReplyDelete
  23. melange boutique3/13/15, 6:31 AM

    So beautiful and reflexive words

    Melange-Boutique Blog by Noe&Lolita

    ReplyDelete
  24. Ron3/13/15, 8:44 AM

    Hi Lux! Thank you for stopping by my blog today. Nice to meet you.

    LOVE this post! I have always believed that if I'm not happy and content within myself, then no one else can do that for me. I'm single and honestly enjoy it. However, if someone should come into my life one day, it would have to be a relationship of two wholes. Not two haves making a whole.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Al3/13/15, 9:22 AM

    Some men seem to gravitate towards women who seem to need rescuing, but a secure man is happiest with a strong and secure woman.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Barbara3/13/15, 12:05 PM

    Amen! I'm grateful I learned this early on.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Margie3/13/15, 12:14 PM

    I believe you, completely!
    Thanks for the visit :)

    ReplyDelete
  28. purva3/13/15, 7:01 PM

    What a beautiful post.. We are the women of today.. Strong and Beuatiful :)

    ReplyDelete
  29. Pat Hatt3/13/15, 9:52 PM

    Very true indeed. If we want change we are the ones that have to do it. Screw everything else.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Lubka Christova3/13/15, 10:01 PM

    I've been saying it for long time - you need to be one whole person and look for another whole person to be happy with, rather than look for a half person. I'm not a half person to have another half.
    Well... I met my partner a couple of years ago and this is exactly what drew me into him - neither he and me needed rescuing :)
    Great post, dear!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Madaline3/13/15, 10:03 PM

    This is beautiful! And so so true. The times in my life I struggled through alone and won have made it so I always always know I can do it myself. This just gave me lots of motivation!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Linda3/13/15, 11:21 PM

    Awesome. You go, girl. :)

    ReplyDelete
  33. tr3ndygirl influencer e fashion blogger3/14/15, 2:08 AM

    great post, love this picture
    I wish you an happy day
    <<< fashion blogger Pamela Soluri >>>
    kiss

    ReplyDelete
  34. Paulina 3/14/15, 5:30 PM

    Have a lovely weekend ;)

    ReplyDelete
  35. Vanessa Morgan3/14/15, 8:44 PM

    So so true. I know many women who hold this misconception.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Emilia3/14/15, 8:53 PM

    Great post!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Monique | WritingMonique3/15/15, 5:45 PM

    I love this post! Greatly written! You are so right!

    ReplyDelete
  38. Amanda Mércuri3/15/15, 9:43 PM

    ;)

    Somos independentes!

    Ótimo domingo!

    Beijo! ^^

    ReplyDelete
  39. Haddock3/16/15, 1:39 AM

    Gone are the days when damsels sleeps in their castle . . . . . . waiting for Mr right

    ReplyDelete
  40. Michele Morin3/16/15, 2:18 AM

    Lovely rallying cry to the single saint sisters out there! Glad to be your neighbor at Sunday Stillness.

    ReplyDelete
  41. AVY3/16/15, 2:41 AM

    I never felt I needed anyone, and yet I know that I do.

    /Avy

    http://mymotherfuckedmickjagger.blogspot.com

    ♥

    ReplyDelete
  42. Shady Del Knight3/16/15, 5:58 AM

    Hi, dear Lux! Thank you for rescuing me from missing your latest post. :) I regret to inform you that, once again, it did not show up in my reader.

    This post imparts excellent information. The way I like to express it is as follows. When you have having fun, you don't have time to worry about your problems or what the Joneses are doing. Take care of your own business first. Get your house in order. The harder you are on yourself, in terms of self discipline and effort, the easier life tends to be on you. Success breeds success. If you are doing the kind of work you love, are doing your best to get and remain physically fit, are practicing good hygiene and grooming and maintaining a positive attitude, you will attract the right kind of people into your world.

    Dear friend Lux, effective immediately, I need to take a two week break from blogging because I am moving to another city. I hope to resume blogging from my new residence the first week of April. Please take good care of yourself until I connect with you again!

    ReplyDelete
  43. ALLIE NYC3/16/15, 6:47 AM

    I am surprised this is still something that people of both sexes seek. And yes if you are not happy with yourself and your life a mate can not change this. In fact if that is what you seek that pretty much is a formula for drama. Funny but I met and befriended so many bloggers here in NY and they are ALL married with the exception of one who just got out of college but she is in a relationship. I am the only one who is single. But among my non blogger girlfriends I can count in the double digits who are single, not married, no children, not even dating. Wonder why?

    Allie of ALLIE NYC
    allienyc.com

    ReplyDelete
  44. Paola Lauretano3/16/15, 6:50 AM

    Great post Lux, so inspiring!!!
    Kisses, Paola.

    Expressyourself

    My Facebook

    ReplyDelete
  45. Unknown3/16/15, 7:47 AM

    I definitely would not picture you as a damsel in distress, Lux :). Your words always evoke an image of a strong, independent woman. This quote is awesome: "The only thing we single ladies need to be rescued from is the notion that we need to be rescued." Amen!

    ReplyDelete
  46. Olivia's Catastrophe3/16/15, 12:34 PM

    I like the new title to your blog! It seems very positive and I think it suits the new direction this is heading in. As well as that, I like the idea of making a life that makes you happy YOURSELF instead of waiting around for someone to save you!

    ReplyDelete
  47. Mary Geisen3/16/15, 6:22 PM

    Thank you for making me step back today to realize that my happiness comes from within me and it is God who leads that path. The world and the people in it should not be determining happiness or contentment. Great words! Have a great week!

    ReplyDelete
  48. Unknown3/16/15, 6:34 PM

    This is definately a very inspiring post to read! x x

    www.beyondthevelvet.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  49. Unknown3/16/15, 10:18 PM

    This is so true. There is nothing better then self motivation.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Margaret Dallospedale3/16/15, 10:33 PM

    Hi sweetie
    I agree with you!
    Very inspiring post
    Kisses
    Maggie Dallospedale Fashion diary - Fashion blog

    ReplyDelete
  51. Kelsey&Kenecha3/16/15, 11:27 PM

    So amazing love this :D

    Florals&Smiles
    Twitter

    ReplyDelete
  52. Chrys Fey3/17/15, 12:19 AM

    I love this! The heroines in my stories are just like this. ;) And I guess I'm like this too. :)

    ReplyDelete
  53. Anshul Bhargava3/17/15, 1:55 AM

    It's true - we have to be our own knights. I don't understand why people base their entire life on someone? I mean, "she needed a hero, so she became one!"

    http://anshul90.com

    ReplyDelete
  54. Christine Rains3/18/15, 7:55 AM

    Love this post! I prefer to be the knight rather than the damsel. :)

    ReplyDelete
  55. Marie 3/18/15, 8:30 AM

    you have a great attitude!! terrific post!

    ReplyDelete
  56. Anonymous3/18/15, 10:40 AM

    Love this attitude! And I so agree. I don't need to be rescued. I can rescue myself.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Dee3/18/15, 5:35 PM

    I agree with this! I hate damsels in distress, too, because I am definitely not one! That is why I like Ever After's version of Cinderella, when she saved herself and did not need the prince to do it.

    ReplyDelete
  58. sage3/27/15, 5:37 AM

    Amen! A well written post and keep those witches and evil step-moms in line!

    ReplyDelete
  59. Unknown3/28/15, 5:50 PM

    Very nice post Lux, we ladies need to learn to take charge of our lives. And even when we are married, we also need to llearn to remain relatively independent

    ReplyDelete
  60. DMS4/4/15, 7:51 AM

    Well said! We don't need rescuing- but it is nice to share our world with people we enjoy. :) Loved this!
    ~Jess

    ReplyDelete
  61. Aayesha S Hakim4/9/15, 1:50 PM

    I can fight my own battles. Yes, I can :)

    ReplyDelete
  62. Unknown4/12/15, 10:25 AM

    I totally agree with this post. Empowered women can move the world.

    www.intransitph.com

    ReplyDelete
  63. Linda Stoll5/14/15, 5:35 AM

    You just make me smile, girl!

    ReplyDelete
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  65. Vacuum Cleaner4/25/19, 9:55 AM

    Thanks for the post, it's very interesting.

    ReplyDelete