Is being single worth losing sleep over?
It’s 2 AM.
The world is quiet and sleeping. But here you are.
Lying awake in bed wondering if you’d ever find The One. You wish you could fast forward and skip to the good part.
But you can’t.
You’re single AF.
Uncertainties start to overwhelm you. Self-doubt begins to dampen your spirit.
The future looks scary...mainly because you feel alone.
You try to shake off that negative feeling and ask, “How do I stop worrying about being single?”
Don’t fret. For every anxiety, there is a remedy.
What do single women worry about the most?
Here are five common worries of a single woman and what to do about them.
Worry #1: All my friends are getting married or pregnant!
When you see your peers celebrating milestones and feel like you’re stuck, it’s easy to feel insecure.
You start questioning what’s next for you.
When am I going to meet my spouse? Will I ever be able to start my own family?
You don’t want to feel left behind.
People will be pressuring you to settle down.
Some of them are well-meaning. But it does feel intrusive and disrespectful sometimes.
So what to do when you start to worry about your friends moving forward and ahead of you?
Remedy:
- It pays to be patient. There’s nothing wrong with taking your time.
- How you spend your lifetime is at stake here, so don’t jump into hasty decisions and settle for just anyone.
- Don’t sabotage your future just because you’re lonely at present.
- Strip away envy.
- Be genuinely happy for your friends’ achievements and breakthroughs.
- Celebrate your victories too. You may not have found The One yet, but the freedom of being single is priceless.
- Seize every moment.
Unlike you, your friends may enjoy their time with their new baby but cannot sleep as much as they want.
You can go to bed and wake up at any time.
You have everything in your hands to experience life as you please.
No commitments. No hassles.
Embrace your alone time.
Because one day, when you least expect it, it will all be over.
Gratitude is the best antidote for envy.
Be thankful for what you have and for where you are. Remember when you used to pray for those things?
And you have no idea how many people wish they could trade places with you.
Giphy
Worry #2: My biological clock is ticking!
Age affects the fertility of men and women.
Studies show that as women age, the chances of conceiving drop.
Women are born with all the eggs they will ever have, and as they get older, the eggs get fewer.
A woman’s fertility starts to reduce in her early 30s. By age 40, only 1 in 10 women will get pregnant per menstrual cycle.
Remedy:
- Freeze your eggs.
- Believe in miracles.
- Consider adoption.
If you really want to be a biological mother, your age may be another source of worry if you’re still single.
Thanks to modern technology, though, there are ways to increase your chances of having a baby and a healthy one even when you’re 35 and up.
Some women opt for other fertility options like IVF or donor eggs.
If you can afford it, you can freeze your eggs until you’re ready to have a baby.
Remember the stories of Sara and Elizabeth in the Bible?
Some people don’t believe in miracles or God, but that’s their call.
If God can make Sara a mother at the age of 90 and Elizabeth was 88 when he gave birth to John...
Don’t you think you also have the chance to get pregnant even when you’re beyond the ideal age?
Hopefully, not as old as these legendary women in the Bible, of course.
Nothing’s impossible with a God who can turn water into wine and raise the dead.
Believe that you are just as highly favored as the people in the Bible.
Or maybe the child for you is already out there, from another family. Waiting for a parent who can give them a better life.
Gfycat
Worry #3: When is Prince Charming going to rescue me?
The problem here is all in the head.
Maybe because Disney conditioned us to believe that Prince Charming is the only way to get us to the life we want.
So when it takes too long for your knight in shining armor to come and get you, you wonder if he’ll arrive.
Or if there’s something wrong with you because why wouldn’t anyone want to rescue a fair lady like yourself?
Remedy:
- Get rid of your Cinderella complex. You’ll get disappointed if you depend on others to give you what you need.
- Waiting for The One will be easier if your love tank is full. Then, it will be an exciting adventure.
- Remember: You’re not a damsel in distress who needs saving. You’re capable enough to take care of yourself.
Stop waiting for love, marriage, and Prince Charming to come along and rescue you, and start designing a life you don’t wish to be rescued from. - Mandy Hale
Gfycat
Worry #4: I’m not desirable enough.
Am I not pretty?
Am I too short? Or too tall?
Am I not smart enough?
Don’t I have the right personality?
Am I not dating, girlfriend, or wife material?
What is wrong with me?
Remedy:
- Carry yourself with grace.
- Work on finding your self-worth.
- Believe that you are enough. Because you really are.
Be careful how you talk to yourself because you listen (Lisa M Hayes).
God doesn’t create rejects.
Just because the glossy pages of beauty magazines tell you you’re not the standard of beauty doesn’t mean they’re right.
Who are they to say? They’re just as imperfect as you are.
Those women are loaded with heavy makeup and are Photoshopped.
Remember that you are beautiful and worthy just the way you are.
Nothing is more beautiful and irresistible than confidence.
Giphy
Worry #5: I’ll end up alone and miserable!
Maybe you’ve met old single women who are grumpy and hateful.
Maybe you’ve been watching too many movies where they portray women beyond their marrying age as desperate and hostile characters.
Or maybe you’ve been putting your happiness in other people’s hands.
That’s why you’re worried that you’ll never find joy if you don’t find a partner.
Remedy:
- Choose to be happy! You are as happy and as lonely as you decide to be. Happiness cannot and will never be found in another person or from an outside source.
- Find the pros of being alone. Being alone is not tantamount to being miserable. You can be in a relationship and still be discontented and lonely.
Two happy individuals make a happy relationship.
If you’re unhappy in your own company, don’t expect others to be.
Giphy
Summary: Common Worries and Remedies for Single Women
The next time worries about being single rear their ugly heads, you know what to do.
- Kick envy with gratitude.
- Believe you are favored.
- Design a life you don’t need rescuing from.
- Know your worth.
- Choose to be happy.
Never ever compare your story with others, especially those in the movies.
Your story is unique. Don’t insult your Maker.
It’s not hard to be single. There are many perks to being alone.
You’re free. You have a blank canvas.
It’s actually exciting if you think about it.
Knowing you have many options is like walking at a buffet table.
Don’t listen to those making you feel like an outcast because you’re not in a relationship.
You’re not!
And they don’t hold your future.
Stop overthinking and start believing.
Stop betting against yourself and start being your own cheerleader.
You’re exactly where you should be. But no, you won’t be stuck there forever. Unless you want to.
Are you single? What worries you, and what do you do about them?
13 comments
I definitely agree with you for the most part... we definitely need to have gratitude for what we do have or we can never accept new things... I don't believe in the Cinderella complex for me, prince charming isn't real, I am looking for someone real... and I know it will be work, it will worth it though... if ever I get that chance...
ReplyDeletewow .<3
Deletewww.babyandnames.com
Such an actual issue you rise - our reasoning and arguments have a beautiful perspective of trust and having a live with meaning and fulfillment, resting and trusting in God!
ReplyDeleteThough my friends are still young and shouldn't be worrying about these issues, i feel like we all still do (they need to read this post!) i love how straight-forward you are - and yes, we should definitely be creating our own sunshine!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post. I'll have to share this with many of my single friends.
ReplyDeleteI liked this the most : "No matter what, learn to create your own sunshine."
ReplyDeleteVery nice read ! :)
Lux, I am always amazed at your creativity that goes along with such practical truth!
ReplyDeleteGreat post! This: "As for me, I believe that if God can part the sea which is scientifically impossible, He can make me a mother if He wants to. I believe that I am just as highly favored as the women in the Bible were." AMEN!!! Our God is so much more poartful than we make Him out to be!!! What's also helped me with moments where I've struggled to trust is to confess it openly, asking Him to encourage me, where I'm at: He ALWAYS does! We have an incredible Saviour! May your day be filled with deep joy as you rest in His Love.
ReplyDeleteThese are all so real!!! Hahaha. Especially #1 and #5. Totally love your blog- following on GFC, Bloglovin' and Facebook! :D
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'd like to invite you to enter my fair trade artisan cozy bundle giveaway, Open to US and Canada! See you on my bloggie!
Blessings,
Christine
www.beyoutifulhope.blogspot.com
Great post and I will be sure to share with my single friends. Thank you for sharing at Weekend Whispers. Have a blessed week!
ReplyDeleteAll very true, Lux! You are so talented with the movie clips you select. It captures exactly what you are trying to convey in such a fun way! Loved the Harry Potter one! Blessings from #BloggerCareGroup :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post for single women, and I truly enjoyed the statement, "I believe that I am just as highly favored as the women in the Bible were."
ReplyDeleteI think most people feel they aren't desirable enough or will end up alone. That's simply not true. thanks for this post to remind others they are not alone and it's worth it to wait for just the right person
ReplyDeleteMarie
@spreading-joy.org
spreading-joy.org