but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.
-Michael J. Fox
Bullies are everywhere---schools, workplace, they're all around. And they're always ready to bring you down. We're all vulnerable victims. I suggest these 8 things to remember when trolls attack you.
8 Things To Remember When Trolls Attack
1. Trolls are envious.
Your haters hate you because you're you. They're envious of your ideas, of your conviction, of your happiness, of what you have. Envy or jealousy is a cancer of the soul. Tweet
It can destroy someone causing them to destroy others around them.
You remind them of something they can't have or you tell the truth that they are yet to accept.
Your success reminds them of their being stuck.
Your happiness make them look into their lives and realize they've got much to work on.
When a troll attacks you, remember that it's not about you. It's about them and their underlying issues.
Thank the heavens you are blessed, and try to understand them.
2. Trolls are hungry for love.
Michael Jackson was and still is being bullied big time. When asked what he thinks about his detractors, he replied "They just need more love."
Trolls have been deprived of love that bitterness and anger consumed them making them angry at anything or anyone who are doing better or are happier. When you allow love to enter your life, there is no room for hate. Tweet
Thus, you will not be capable of trolling.
When a troll attacks you, remember that they are hungry for love and it is not your mission to fix them.
Try to love them.
3. Trolls are desperate for attention.
One of the most effective way to get someone's attention is to piss them off. Some kids in school think annoying someone is a cool move to get everybody talking. Some of these kids never really grow up. When they enter the adult world, they use the same strategy. They want people to talk about them and they will do anything to do that.
They probably were not given enough attention by their parents when they were kids that they have to scream or throw a tantrum just to get them to notice them. Or they were oppressed and they want so desperately to be heard.
When a troll attacks you, remember that they just want you to notice them. Desperate people will do anything to get what they want, the world's attention included.
The best way to handle this is not to give them the attention they seek but ignore them until they learn to let go and move on. Hopefully to make their lives better and not to look for another victim.
4. Trolls are toddlers trapped in an adult's body.
Kids bullying kids though still unacceptable is understandable. They don't understand much and they react the way kids react when they want love and attention. But adults who bully others is ridiculous.
It's okay to be childlike, even in the Bible Jesus taught us to learn from children. To be childish is a different story.
When toddlers throw a tantrum, it's somehow expected. When adults do it, it's embarrassing to witness, somehow amusing, but deeply disturbing.
When a troll attacks you, remember that they just need to grow up. They are 4-year olds trying to break free from a 40-year old body.
Again, it's not your job to fix them.
5. Trolls are miserable.
"Misery loves company."
If they can't be happy, they will surely try to ruin your day too.
When a troll attacks you, remember that it's not easy to live in misery.
Try to show them kindness.
6. Trolls are scared of their own monster.
Some people can't face their own monsters so they look for "preys" to escape. They unconsciously become the monster themselves attacking others.
Notice it. Those who always criticize other people's lives are those who can't confront and correct the wrongs in their own lives. Tweet
They often point at others' mistakes failing to look at their own, or more accurately, refusing to see their faults.
This could be because they're comforted by the thought that they are not the only ones with flaws or that they want to highlight your wrongs so theirs could be covered up or ignored. Or that the more they focus or magnify your flaws, the more their faults pale in comparison.
When a troll attacks you, remember that they're just trying to run away from their own demons. Not realizing they become demons themselves.
Pray for their healing.
7. Trolls find your life more interesting than theirs.
If you've got no goals, no direction, no purpose or if you can't find anything better to do, you get interested with other people's business.
When a troll attacks you, remember that they're bored and are looking for some entertainment. Your life seems to be more interesting than theirs so they pick on you. Just carry on with your busy fulfilling life.
8. Trolls are not able to communicate effectively.
We are all unique and we think differently. It's no surprise that we have different beliefs. Some of us though are not that kind or respectful in expressing our disagreement.
When a troll attacks you, remember that they may just be trying to express their opinion without meaning to sound "trollish". Give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe it's just how you interpret the message. Just maybe.
It's often tempting to go down to their level (which obviously is LOW), but if you really think about it, cyber-bullying is a very pathetic and lonely act that we should really feel sorry for these trolls.
You can never please everybody, and you should never try. For toxic people, you can never really do anything right. Damn if you do, damn if you don't.
If you know in your heart that you're not trying to hurt anyone by expressing your opinion or beliefs and you have love in your heart, trolling won't stop you from pursuing your purpose.
Bullying or trolling is for the desperate, lonely, empty, miserable individuals. Tweet
More than hating them back, they need us to understand them, show them kindness, and pray for them.
When a troll attacks you, remember that they're trying to pull you down because you're above them.
When a troll attacks you, be the bigger person, take the high road and remember how blessed you are that you don't have to live and think the way they do.
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94 comments
I try to ignore them but sometimes they get on my nerves ~ Thanks for the reminder to ignore them ~
ReplyDeleteGood advice. Funny how obvious human traits of insecurity are when we sit back and look at them with a proper perspective. Thanks for the reminder and smile.
ReplyDeleteWow I love all the points you mention! Your posts are always very inspiring. Yes trolls envy what you have!
ReplyDeletewww.effortlesslady.com
this is a great post indeed ... it's definitely more productive to try to empathise and to understand what motivates negative attacks, so that we can handle them in a way that's more meaningful :)
ReplyDeleteHey Lux, this is a great post. I shared it on my facebook page, will also do on twitter and google+
ReplyDeleteMy take home: "take the high road and remember how blessed you are that you don't have to live and think the way they do"
great post dear,
ReplyDeletelove the tips and i really do pity bulliesthey must have so many issues to deal with
I love this post! I agree with all of your points, especially that it is not our job to fix them! They have to want to change for themselves!
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree with ignoring them! Hope they are not giving you too much grief
ReplyDeleteSuze | LuxuryColumnist
Hello,
ReplyDeleteWonderful tips to handle trolls. Your masterly elucidation on trolls is praiseworthy and very useful.
This post is truly an education for me.
Best wishes
Well said, Lux! I love your humor and honesty in your writing. Blessings :)
ReplyDeleteThese are great tips to keep in mind- let it roll off your back, and keep on movin'! :)
ReplyDelete-Ashley
Le Stylo Rouge
I love this so much!
ReplyDeletexoxo;
STYLEFORMANKIND.COM
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Internet bullies are the worst. I say kill them with kindness!
ReplyDeleteShauna
www.lipglossandlace.net
love this post, Lux! Thank you for the reminder....
ReplyDeletexx
Epsita
www.thepositivewindow.com
True words!
ReplyDeleteYep, toddlers is all they idiots are. I just ignore them, or at most, tell them to go pound sand up their butt and that is that haha
ReplyDeleteI am much older than you are so my outlook is possibly different. I have no time or patience for anything that does not make me feel good. It's bad enough that I have to do dishes every day. I will not give my time or attention to negative people. What they say or do rolls off my back because I do not acknowledge. Life is too short to give credence to someone like that.
ReplyDeleteYour post made me smile!
ReplyDeleteYou hit the nail on the head when you wrote: "it's not about you. It's about them and their underlying issues."
Nice post Lux - I've never been trolled or attacked on line (I'm not very controversial I guess) but I have seen it happen to others and your understanding of the situation makes a lot of sense. I heard the saying once, that those who are hardest to love are those who need it the most.
ReplyDeleteHi sweetie
ReplyDeleteI usually ignore these comments.
This post is very interesting and I like these points of view.
Kisses
MaggieD
Fashion Blog - Maggie Dallospedale Fashion diary
I am so glad you shared this post, Lux, I love it! Great points here, and very true!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great and helpful post! I had a blog post go viral last year on The Huffington and man oh man did the trolls come out to play. They were vicious! Back then I didn't know how to handle them, but I sure do now. IGNORE THEM!!
ReplyDeleteCute tips darling! Thanks for sharing!!
ReplyDeleteBaci,
Coco et La vie en rose - Valeria Arizzi
You have shared some important truths here. It's hard to turn the other cheek and love our enemies but God sees our efforts and He will remember (He'll also remember if we bully too and remain unrepentant!).
ReplyDeleteGreat post...so good to fix our eyes on Jesus and let the things (and trolls) of earth fade away! Many blessings to you ❤️
ReplyDeleteSo awesome! Thanks for writing this, very cool to see things like this, works inspiring and everyone needs to read this every now and then to stay positive, no matter who's trying to bring you down!
ReplyDeleteXxx
Naomi in Wonderland
Great breakdown of a bully in cyberspace...or anywhere. They are jealous and need attention! Ignore, ignore, ignore some more! ♥ Visiting from Faith Filled Friday
ReplyDeleteThese are all true especially the fact that they seek attention. I hate attention seekers in a bad and annoying way. Haha!
ReplyDeleteHave a nice day! :)
xoxo,
SHAIRA
www.missdream-girl.blogspot.com
Great post, Lux! Trolls really are bullies with nothing else to do but try to destroy someone else. They have no life or they would be living it! It isn't always easy to ignore them but it really is the best thing to do. Battling with them just brings you down. Killing them with kindness just pisses them off -- and I'm OK with that!
ReplyDeleteI think the computer age has bred more bullies, half of them would never say the things they do if they were saying it to your face. Best to just ignore them in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteLOVE LOVE LOVE THIS Lux!!!! I am sharing...
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing such great insights about the people that truly do hurt so many writers...including me! I have told several bloggers "It's truly not about you. It's all about them." We really need to understand that truth. Detaching from their firey words is a must!
Thank you for all the good suggestions. Have a happy weekend!
ReplyDeleteHi, dear Lux! These are all important facts. A troll or a bully is a person who did not get enough love as a child and is still coming from a desperate need for love and attention. People who use a lot of profanity as a way of expressing themselves do so because they lack the vocabulary and social skill to carry on a normal conversation. Don't lower yourself to the level of the bully or the troll. Through restraint, tolerance, patience, understanding and compassion it is possible to influence them and lead them to modify their behavior.
ReplyDeleteWhen I encounter hate... I love it to death.
Lux, those tips are amazing. My tip is to just ignore those trolls!! :) I wish more people would read this! I am gonna be sharing this post on my fb, dear! More people need to see it.
ReplyDeletehttp://anshul90.com
Very cogent and sensible observations on trolls.
ReplyDeleteGreat Post <3
ReplyDeleteHappy Weekend ,kisses!
this list made these internet trolls more pitiful rather than being so annoying....
ReplyDeletesuch an amazing tips
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<<< fashion blogger Pamela Soluri >>>
I wish you an happy day
kiss
I love this blogpost!
ReplyDeleteThese 8 things are right! Michael Jackson was such a lovely person; he always stayed positive. And it must have been hard. Such an inspiration!
WritingMonique
It all goes back to turning the other cheek like Jesus said. In your kindness and love, you highlight their sin and wrong and shame them. Just maybe they will then turn to Him and ask for forgiveness because of your example. Good tips. :)
ReplyDeleteLovely post! Really great tips.
ReplyDeleteFlorals&Smiles
Yes, good advice to help!
ReplyDeleteThose are great tips. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteGreetings from London.
Trolls are awful, I honestly don't understand how people can be so cruel. These tips are great.
ReplyDeleteRachel xx
http://www.thedailyluxe.net
I have never been attacked by internet trolls yet and for that I am very grateful. I have been attacked for my own opinion though, but I like to think I managed the situation fairly well? I didn't mean to offend anyone in the process. But like you have said, it is important to take all these points into account and stay calm.
ReplyDeleteGreat thoughts and advice which should help anyone going through such to have a a better understanding. Greetings!
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
ReplyDeleteHave a nice week end!
Photographer Gil Zetbase
http://www.gilzetbase.com/
great list! this is inspiring
ReplyDeletexoxo, rae
http://www.raellarina.net/
All young people would benefit from reading this post.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! Trolls are everywhere 'cause it's easy to be rude in cyberspace and they play the game well. :)
ReplyDeleteI wrote a post for xoJane a few months ago and the commenters were brutal. I don't get the anger that exists out there. If you don't like what someone wrote, don't read it. Even if you want to comment, why so mean and hostile? One reader got so angry at me, she left a bad review for my book without even having read it. She just wanted to lash out at me. The post wasn't even all that big a deal...but those angry people go nuts on EVERY post!
ReplyDeleteAgree with you! Some trolls can be a bit annoying for me though.
ReplyDeleteLux, I think the best thing we can do is totally ignore them... I had one person and that is why I moderate my comments... she has finally stopped, maybe decided to move on with her life xox
ReplyDeletemore like a bunch of green eye monster.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely right about them being miserable. Great post,and have a great week!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.stylenbeautylounge.com/2015/07/zaful-summer-essentials.html#more
Amazing post and tips! =D
ReplyDeleteNEW POST on http://whattostyle.blogspot.com/
xoxo,
Jessica
Nice post :)
ReplyDeleteGreat tips!
ReplyDeletewww.alessandrastyle.com
Great points
ReplyDeleteIt's best not to pay attention to trolls. Great post!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.thestylishbipolar.com
Advice taken, really motivational post dear and I just loved the way you write. It feels like every word comes straight from heart!! :)
ReplyDeleteBullies are everywhere, you're so right. Which is why it's important for you to have tough skin and to know who you are. If you don't know who you are, you'll allow anyone to make you believe something about yourself that may not be true. Beautiful post.
ReplyDeleteKia / House of KTS
www.houseofkts.com
nice post!
ReplyDeletekisses
http://lestyledelapetiteblonde.blogspot.com.es
I totally agree with you :)
ReplyDeletehttp://freshfacebeauty.in
Hahaa so true ^^
ReplyDeleteJust ignore them... Or follow the rules!
ReplyDeleteHey Luxy!!! **waves and blows kisses** It's been a while mami...
ReplyDeleteReturning the visit and realizing we are parked next to one another at Holly's today! Trying to pick my favorite troll description, leaning toward 7 but kinda love all of them!!!
ReplyDeletethank you teacher!
ReplyDeleteYou definitely have a talent for writing, explaining and finding a conclusion. Unfortunately, it's full with trolls around butt the most important is to ignore their negativity.
ReplyDeleteHaha, firstly I love the gifs you used to illustrate your points. Then I definitely agree with what you said, I've had my share of cyber bullying and the best way to stop the hate is by being the better person. In other words, kill them with kindness.
ReplyDeleteFashionably,
Patricia
http://www.wingsforliberty.com/
I love how you encourage us to put trolls in their place or how to deal with them. They are jealous and wish they were you. Perhaps there is a way to include them so they are not so envious. Thank you for a wonderful Post shared here at Tell me a Story.
ReplyDeleteLove this Lux. What great points. So true that we don't have to look to others for our worth. We belong to God and that's all that matters. Following you from Embracing His Will.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Janis
absolutely the truth! Don't lower yourself to their level
ReplyDeletewith love from the #BloggerCareGroup
What great advice! I love how you explained each one so clearly and the GIFs are perfect. So important to not let trolls bother us and to not feed into their games. Thanks for sharing! :)
ReplyDelete~Jess
This could have been a very depressing post, but not by you Lux.
ReplyDeleteall true! There are trolls around the blogosphere... one that leaves nasty, unintelligible and sometimes sexual comments... known as Beatrix but she sometimes changes name... and there are those anonymous freaks too.... Just erase and delete, erase and delete... and never stoop to their level... unless you're pissed of that day too and need to mop the floors with someone :)
ReplyDeletewow, this post is truly awesome, i felt the same too, thank you very much for sharing this~
ReplyDeletepumpatol ako noong teenager pa ako hahaha but now I just ignore it hihi
ReplyDeleteGreat insight and advice about cyberbullying. Thank you for writing this and sharing this. Have a good weekend.
ReplyDeleteI have been attacked online so maNY times I have lost count. This is such an important reminder. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteYour post reminded me of the time when the RH Bill was hot issue. I was fighting trolls day in and day out. It was fun. :-P
ReplyDeleteThank you pala for always visiting my site.
Thanks for sharing this with #SocialButterflySunday, Lux! Hope to see you link up again this Sunday :)
ReplyDeleteSo true! You always leave sweet comments and I enjoy your blog when I get a chance to browse :) Thanks for the encouragement!
ReplyDeletehttp://blusheddesign.etsy.com
I don't engage with trolls when they're irrational. Sometimes, I respond to them if they're interested with my rebuttal where it'll help them to reflect and stop trolling anymore.
ReplyDeleteThe best thing to do is to just ignore, unfriend, block and have a great time without thinking of them!
ReplyDeleteAngelo
www.AngeloTheExplorer.com
Mature thing to do is to ignore them. Period. Just don't say anything. Problem is if you're mature enough or insensitive enough to ignore the bullies.
ReplyDeleteAnd Troll Dolls are cute. Nice Insights!
ReplyDeleteThank you dfor sharing Lux. I sometimes being trolled by people. Yes, i think trollers are envious. I love the way you wrote this piece. Kudos!
ReplyDeleteI love trolls... hehe. I usually ignore them. But if the opportunity to make them eat there words presents itself, I pounce. HEHE
ReplyDeleteHad a recent experience and I almost gave in. Number 4 is totally spot on, I just reminded myself that trolls are just immature people. Getting with people behind the computer is what I call "DUWAG" hehe. Mature people knows how to sit down and talk about the problem.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! Thanks for posting :) Love it!
ReplyDeleteI experience this. I usually ignore them, just to give respect. But sometimes, they're just too much. Thanks for these reminders. :)
ReplyDeleteAh- this is awesome Lux!! And all of what you shared is SO TRUE. Thank you for doing this- I'll be sharing this on my page.
ReplyDelete