This year is my best one yet; my best and longest birthday celebration so far. My craziest and most amazing journey and transformation---from happy single to engaged and ecstatic. Yes, it finally happened (Sumome newsletter subscribers already knew as I told them about it before posting. I encourage you to subscribe in the pop up so I can keep you updated and send you soul foods).
Just when I thought I'd be single forever and was so ready for it, God gave me this most wonderful surprise.
For those who are asking, I've been single for 5 years and I'm in my mid-30's now.Indeed when God works, He works in ways that will leave us in awe. As Hudson Taylor said, "There are three stages to every great work of God; first it is impossible, then it is difficult, then it is done."
From Happy Single To Engaged And Ecstatic
Impossible
It felt like finding my OTL (One True Love) was impossible. I've dated a few and although I tried to make each one work, it just didn't.When I thought or maybe made myself believe that I've found my prince, he turned out to be just another frog.
I've had an ex (or two) who cheated on me. An ex who loved to point out what's wrong with me; my appearance, what's lacking in my life, my mistakes and imperfections. An ex who never pays attention when I talk. An ex who just couldn't keep the promise anymore and chose the easy way out; he walked away---when I needed him the most. Exes who borrowed money and never paid, lied to my face, and those who felt entitled to anything.
(Did it sound like I have many exes? Well, most of these characters are found in just one person. Or two).
I've met people who discouraged me and gave me second thoughts about true love's existence. Or happy endings.
Maybe love is just found in movies or books made up by people desperate to find it? It seems impossible to find it in the real world.
Difficult
Yet no matter how wrong the men I dated were and no matter how badly I was treated, I always find myself believing that someday I will find someone who will honor me, cherish me, and show me how it is to be truly loved. That love exists and I will one day experience and share it with the one destined to be mine. That God is still writing my love story and He's perfecting it.So I waited. And oh, how long and difficult it was.
I endured the insults. I had to remind myself that if someone thinks there's something wrong with me for choosing this path, there is something terribly wrong with them.
I had to be patient---very patient, and wait for God to deliver His promise.
There were times when I am so at peace with myself I go to bed heaving a sigh of relief that I can do whatever I want when I want to without complications or anyone to consider.
I can remember going home and relishing my alone time in the apartment like any introvert. And going to bed with a smile on my face knowing I can sleep anytime, wake up at whatever time I wish to, and decide whether to stay in bed, go out and meet friends or just stay home and order pizza (something I especially miss).
I was enjoying my single life while it lasts knowing in my heart that someday soon, everything will change and I would wish I can go back to the time I am free from commitment.
But then...There were many cold lonely nights too, so to speak. There were times when I go to bed with a heavy heart, with such yearning for someone to share how my day went. There were moments I wake up in the middle of the night, longing for a comforting body beside me, assuring me that I am loved and boosting my spirit when I had a long tiring day. Moments when I wish I have someone to share my joys and trials with.
There are days when I have to run errands or do chores and wish there's someone there I can rely on to do the heavy, difficult tasks. I will always have to check if the service includes free pick-up and delivery because it's quite challenging for my small frame and back problem. Or look for someone I can pay to do stuff for me.
Done
When finally I've learned to embrace my single life and all its imperfections, when I finally accepted the fact that it is a possibility that I might end up alone and be totally okay with it, when I finally became at peace with myself and dealt with loneliness like an old frenemy, when I could finally ignore the criticisms knowing that they know nothing about what God has planned for me...that's when God proved that my story isn't over yet. That's when I realized I was ready for more. I was ready for a big change.God has been preparing me for a big surprise---a wonderful bonus to my already great life.
It wasn't easy getting to where I am right now from where I was five years ago.I was hurt, betrayed, used, and broken.
But then God has proven that my life isn't over with me planning my time alone; securing my future in case there's no one to take care of me.
God obviously thinks it is so much better for me to share this life with another---someone He has specially prepared, honed, crafted, formed into the best partner for His stubborn daughter. Someone perfectly imperfect for the imperfect me.
How did it happen?
Sometimes I have to pause and reflect. Sometimes I have to check the photos and messages on my phone, and the ring on my finger just to be sure I'm not dreaming.
Because it seems everything's happening so fast and everything feels so unreal.Wasn't it only yesterday I was single and happy? Now I'm actually engaged! I have to stop and just revel at how amazing God is.
I finally met someone willing to spend the rest of his life with me. Someone who liked it enough to put a ring on it. (Thank you, Beyonce.)
Like anyone who believes in the power of visualization and asking God for specifics, I wrote down the things I want in my future spouse. My heart rejoices knowing that he ticked off all my list. He is everything I prayed for...and more.
Truly God delivers, and when He does you'll be blown away. He will---as always---exceed your expectations. God will give you more than you think you deserve for He loves you more than your human understanding can ever fathom.
When I think about my plans that have so abruptly changed this year, I feel like God must be so amused when I was presenting to Him my needs and my goals. They're too small compared to His big plans for me. He knows my needs more than I do.This is me deciding with a clear mind and a ready heart. This is me trusting my gut feeling knowing that this nudge is from God.
It all happened when I am not lonely anymore, nor am I afraid to be alone.With God's will, everything falls into place. It's like the universe syncs and moves with you. You are shown favor after favor after favor.
So just keep the faith, keep praying, and never ever stop believing in love.
Maybe one day you'll find someone to share that love with. Maybe God will send you to a mission where you'll find a different kind of love. Maybe God will give you a heart so big and generous to love a whole community which you can call family.Whatever it is, keep trusting God. He knows best. After all, He invented love. He is love.
43 comments
Lux, please accept my congratulations. I delight in the photo of the beautiful young woman holding hands across the table. I asked a young woman to marry me 48 years ago --it was in the dark on her parents' front lawn --no table, no ring. 1/2 hour ago, she told me she loves me and shuffled off to bed. We are getting serious. There will be worries and triumphs, sadness and exaltation, and everything in between --underpinned and guided by love. I wish you every happiness, Lux, and may every moment light your spirit. Oh, and happy birthday too!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Geo. Aw, that is still romantic. 48 years! That is something no diamond ring could buy.
DeleteCongratulations to you and to the lucky guy - you're so sweet and pretty. All the best and God bless.
ReplyDeleteThanks for always being here (from my single days lol). God bless you too!
DeleteLux, congratulations on your engagement. May you be happy and loved always. The ring looks lovely and so does your smile. You have mentioned God's generosity and how he gives at the tight time and more than our expectations and I agree with you. We have to keep believing that things will improve and our lives will change for the better and they will.Best wishes for your future.
ReplyDeleteI am happy and I do feel loved. Thank you so much for your kind words. I agree. Keep believing. God will give us something more than what we pray for. Blessings!
DeleteHi, Luxie!
ReplyDeleteThis is wonderful news, dear friend! As I gaze upon this picture of my happy friend wearing the brightest smile in town I am filled with happiness. Acknowledge yourself. Give yourself credit for waiting patiently for this outcome while God worked his plan for you in His own time. For years, without complaint, you "asked with integrity" and prepared yourself to receive. You didn't settle for a relationship that was dysfunctional and less than you deserve. You proved that you are willing and able to be alone the rest of your life and support yourself if need be. It was a lonely journey but you accepted it and made the best of it. When you live by the philosophy "If I must, I can" you come from personal power which, like a magnet, attracts opportunity.
I share your joy, dear friend Lux, and wish you and your special someone all the best in 2018 and the years to come!
Asked in integrity. I like that. Thanks for being here always and sharing your insights and advice. I appreciate it and I thank you for sharing my joy.
DeleteHow was the move?
Congrats to you! Goes to show things come when they are right indeed.
ReplyDeleteIndeed! Thank you, Pat!
DeleteCongratulations!
ReplyDeleteI have learned this much about love: the right people are always worth the wait.
Absolutely worth it. Thank you!
DeleteBiggest congrats so happy for you! Beautiful ring too.
ReplyDeleteThank you! Yes, it's lovely.
DeleteI love you Lux <3 and for waiting to be blessed by God's perfect timing to transform our life together. See you soon my love.
ReplyDeleteExcited for our life together. Lots of love!
DeleteHey Lux, congratulations on your engagement!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing a wonderful testimony of God's faithfulness! Indeed, His joyful blessings come to those who patiently and faithfully trust in Him.
Two people coming together in the completeness of Christ make a happy couple. (Teary eyed!)
I know in my heart that your story would be good too, my friend. I look forward to read about that on your blog soon. Keep the faith. And thanks for sharing my joy!
DeleteGreat news for the New Year! Congratulations to you! God is always faithful! Feeling so happy for you and your love!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations Lux, you are so beautiful and seems so happy!!! I wish you all the best!
ReplyDeleteKisses, Paola.
Expressyourself
<a
Congratulations, Lux!! This is great news, indeed! So glad to hear that you have found your soulmate!
ReplyDeleteKisses <3
www.rakhshanda-chamberofbeauty.com
Aw Lux what a beautifully written post! Huge congrats on your engagement, you look so happy & what a fab ring! Your faith is beautiful and your trust and following your heart and God's path has certainly paid off. All the best to you and yours on your engagement x
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! You look so happy and I love your beautiful ring! I wish you both much happiness and many years of wonderful journeys together. Always a pleasure to visit you here and I appreciate you so very much. HUGS
ReplyDeleteHi Lux! Oh my gosh, what a wonderful announcement! You must be so, so happy. How wonderful that you can see God's hand in it all, and how he fulfilled your wish list with your fiancee. Is your ring pink? It's really beautiful, just like you!
ReplyDeleteGod's blessings and peace to you in this exciting new year for you both,
Ceil
Congratulations. I wish you both much joy and love!
ReplyDeleteThat is amazing. Congratulations!!!! You are beautiful inside and out. You deserve true love and all the happiness it brings.
ReplyDeleteAHHH!!!! CONGRATULATIONS LUX!!! I just loved reading this beautiful and inspiring post and oh the JOY in how God truly did deliver for you! I am SO happy you have found The One to spend the rest of your life with... THAT is the perfect way to start the new year!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations, Lux! I am glad that you were happily single, gladder that you have a lifetime of marital ecstasy (with all the challenges from which you'll both grow). This like this don't happen until we make peace with ourselves, I believe (separate from any belief or non-belief in a Higher power). I'm very excited for you. He's a lucky man.
ReplyDeleteWOW!! Congratulations! Such an exciting time!
ReplyDeleteShauna
www.lipglossandlace.net
Congrats on your engagement. I wish you much happiness. Happy Tuesday, enjoy your day.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! You must be the happiest person in the world now.
ReplyDeleteCongrats, lady! This is such an exciting time!
ReplyDelete-Ashley
Le Stylo Rouge
Congratulations to you and your beloved. I am very happy for you!
ReplyDeleteHi Lux! This has brought me to tears. Thank you for sharing your journey. It is something that I very badly need to hear/read. Congratulations and please do pray for us singles that we find the one too ❤️
ReplyDeleteWow, thats amazing. Congratulations. So great to read your story.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations, Lux! How exciting. May the Lord be your guide as the two of you journey through life together. May 1 Co. 13 be threaded well in your relationship.
ReplyDeleteDear Lux ... I am SO happy for you ... you've waited, hoped, prayed, shared your struggles and dreams.
ReplyDeleteMay God bless you both as you move ahead with each other and Him. Your joy is evident in that beautiful photo.
Hugs!
God truly does deliver. Thanks for linking up to Literacy Musings.
ReplyDeleteSo thrilled for you dear friend! So thankful that the Lord has brought this special person into your life! Many blessings, prayers and wishes for a blessed life together!
ReplyDeleteI am so happy for you Lux! This couldn't have happened to someone more in love with life, and with the most compassionate heart. Congratulations! Plus, this post really has provided a bit of hope since like me, you've been waiting a while for nothing less than God's best. :D
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! Yes, God does deliever for us and he knew there was someone for you, and that you needed time to love yourself a bit before someone came to continue the loving for you. Congrats again on the engagement x
ReplyDeleteCongratulations and thank you for encouraging us singles who are waiting.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, i just love this post.
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how untill you get to that point of single and loving it, and go to rest then all of a sudden everything starts rumbling in for your good. I love the smile on your face, it's so real and warm :)
Congratulations Lux
xxxxx