For the last few years, I have been struggling to find someone I can share my life with. 

When I turned 36, all of a sudden I could feel my biological clock ticking. 

All my friends were married with children, and I started doubting myself. 

Is there anything I'm doing wrong?

I began to seek support from friends and family. 

Some suggested that I find a life coach who specializes in women my age, looking for their soulmates. 

After doing some searching, I found a great coach who instantly understood my situation and was able to pinpoint exactly what was going on, and why I was struggling to find a companion.

The first thing she did was have me read the book Finding True Love: The 4 Essential Keys to Discovering the Love of Your Life. 

The author, Daphne Rose Kingma emphasizes the importance of spiritual and emotional preparation for love, which, if undertaken, will result in discovering the love of your life.

She describes the four qualities necessary for love:

She divides the discussion into four parts, each devoted to one of the qualities, exploring its part in attaining the emotional and spiritual attitudes required for finding the love of one’s life.

Through sensible steps and advice, she challenges readers to uncover and discover the reasons they have not found a fulfilling relationship and to set it right.


The two things that immediately stood out for me were trust and surrender. I really had a hard time with them in past relationships, and my love and dating coach helped me to see how I was self-sabotaging myself every time I met a new man.

I had an old wound from the past that had not been healed (my first boyfriend cheated on me). I would enter every new relationship with trust issues.

As I looked back on my previous relationship, I could see how I was probably driving him nuts because I could never fully trust him as I always feared whether or not he was going to cheat on me. 

Because of this, I knew that I ended up pushing him away, and once I finally accepted responsibility and owned it, I was able to begin the healing process.

Because of my lack of trust issues, I could never fully surrender to any relationship. 

As my life coach and I did some analysis work, I was able to see how my inability to surrender probably made the men in my life feel like I had a wall up.

After six months of work with my life coach, I was finally able to meet the man of my dreams. I can honestly say that I genuinely feel we will spend the rest of our lives together.

Can a life coach help you find true love? Mine did. I have faith that yours will too.