Just celebrated another milestone in our marriage. This life chapter has brought a lot of changes - not just in my last name. 😏 There are lessons we've learned together as a couple and as individuals. And the valuable life lessons my husband taught me? I believe every marriage needs them.

1. My husband taught me that self-worth is non-negotiable. 

I don't have to tolerate people who are shortchanging me. He showed me that accepting negativity is a disservice to myself. That I need to take care of my health. That I deserve to be pampered. That I can demand higher pay because I'm good at what I do.

2. How to communicate my feelings.

Here's the thing. If a child is crying and you tell them to stop, they grow up thinking they're not allowed to be upset, scared, angry, or show their feelings. 

In their young minds, they believe those feelings are wrong, invalid, or unacceptable. They get the impression that expressing their emotions is wrong, so they suppress them. Even when they reach adulthood and they know better.

My husband showed me that all my emotions are valid. I don't have to hide or dismiss them. He created a safe space where I could express them without judgment, and that's been a game-changer for my emotional health.

I still have a hard time sharing or expressing them, but he's a patient teacher (whose patience I always test in that regard 😅).

3. To trust. Again.

Past hurts had me guarding my heart like a dragon guarding its treasure. But my husband's unwavering honesty and genuine actions chipped away at those walls, building trust along the way. 

He proved that not everyone's out to hurt, humiliate, or use me. I don't always agree with what he tells me, but he's repeatedly proven to me that he's right, so I've learned to trust his judgment.

4. It's okay to set boundaries.

He showed me that I can walk away from people regardless of who they are or their role in my life. If they're sucking out my time and energy or disrespecting me, they're out. Self-love should always be a priority.

5. Celebrate my individuality.

I'm an introvert, and all my life, I've been made to believe that how I behave is boring and, well, not normal. Because I prefer quiet and solitude at a time when my peers love to party and be out there. 

So I forced myself to be where the crowd was, mingle, and be as loud as the others. It drained me. It also made me doubt myself and dislike myself for who I am because I thought I wasn't cool or good enough to be accepted. 

My husband is the most extroverted person I've met. He respects my need for solitude and doesn't force me into uncomfortable situations. 

6. Learn to redefine stereotypes.

Growing up in our culture, I was bombarded with outdated gender roles. My husband, a modern-day man, shattered those expectations. He treats me as a wife AND someone with feelings, needs, and opinions. 

My husband and I are one, but I still get to keep my identity and make choices for my body. I don't have to conform to what society or tradition dictates, and he's there to support me on that.

7. How to be a real partner.

Maybe it's because I'm a middle child in a large brood. I've not been a leader. I'm not someone people turn to for opinions. So, I had no idea how to run a ship, so to speak. 

Marriage, as my husband taught me, is all about teamwork. 

Healthy relationships require two people working together, not against each other through rough waters.

You can't just take orders or take over. We navigate challenges together, celebrate victories as a unit, and share responsibilities with open communication.

8. The 'mundane' matters.

The simple, everyday little things matter, like taking the trash out without being asked or preparing my breakfast while he lets me sleep in. An elaborate bouquet of flowers is lovely, but the flowers he picked from the road on his way home are just as meaningful. 

9. The real meaning of intimacy.

Speaking your partner's love language is intimacy. Whether you're sitting silently together doing separate things, wrapped up in each other's arms, or hundreds of miles apart, you can get intimate. Because intimacy with someone is a choice that goes beyond the bedroom walls.

10. My husband taught me to be more patient.

Because are you really a husband if you're not annoying your wife? 😄 

My husband is far from perfect, just like me. He makes mistakes, gets grumpy sometimes, and we don't always see eye-to-eye. 

We came from very different backgrounds and cultures and had opposing opinions. I've learned to be more patient because I can see him trying to be better. And I know what he does is for the best.

[I admit I need to work on this more - especially when I'm being hormonal because that's when I'm not in the mood to cut him some slack. 🤷]

Valuable Life Lessons My Husband Taught Me

Marriage isn't just about fancy rings and cake-cutting ceremonies. Those moments are magical, but the real magic unfolds in everyday, quiet moments and unexpected life lessons learned. And my amazing husband has been a great teacher on this journey.

Happy anniversary to my better half. I'm blessed to do life with you. Cheers to more years of love, sunsets, dirty jokes, and flirty pickup lines! 🥂

Question for You

What life lessons has your partner or relationships taught you? Or do you have any marriage advice?