Life Lessons Things To Leave In 2013 5:39 PM You can't cling to the past, because no matter how tightly you hold on, it's already gone. -How I Met Your Mother I got inspired to write my own list of things to leave in 2013, when I saw Mandy Hale's post. I love her! Things To Leave in 2013 Fake friends Yes, there are people whom you can say are really good to you, they were there when you needed them the most and when you've got nothing, and friends you can share good times with. Unfortunately, somewhere along the way, they started to distance themselves from you and your woman instinct kicks in and tells you something's wrong. You know because the conversation started to become casual and the topics limited (they keep you in the dark), the warm welcome turned cold and you hear them whisper and exchange knowing looks when they thought you're not aware. Needless to say, to continue the friendship is like trying to wear the clothes you've outgrown. No matter how much you like it, it just doesn't fit anymore. It's time to leave. So leave, you must. Toxic and petty people You don't have to hang out with the wrong crowd. Jesus may have succeeded in converting what the society considered as outcasts but let's face it. In real life, more often than not, the more you try to fix people, the more they destroy you. I've noticed that the more I try to reach out to difficult people, try to understand them and make their lives better, the more disappointed and exhausted I become. Bo Sanchez said you may love difficult people from a distance, but you don't have to spend time with them. They will just suck your energy out and leave you drained. Bitterness Bitterness leaves you feeling bad about yourself, makes you overlook the blessings around you and makes you wish ill towards another. There's no sense in feeling bitter about the past because it's over. And as appealing as plotting your vindication is, only God can really give you back what you've lost. Unforgiveness Life is too short to spend hating. Unforgiveness is like drinking poison while waiting for the other person to die". It will harm your body and spirit and will steal your joy. Worry Worrying over baseless things. Worry is another huge "joy-stealer". Instead of worrying, spend your time and energy wishing (and planning). Even the Bible keeps on reminding us that we need not worry. We just need to trust. Unproductive hobbies Habits and activities that do not nourish. It takes 28 days to form a habit. So you need to be patient with yourself. You have to take it one day at a time. Start getting a healthy sleeping pattern, stop munching on unhealthy food, stop engaging in gossips. These are just a few unnecessary habits that we must not bring with us in the next year. Easier said than done, but not impossible to do. Could-have-been It's never too late to be who you might have been. Yes, there are words better left unspoken. There are things we wished we could have done better. But, if it's over, let it go. The best way to avoid regrets is to start acting now and be what you've always wished to be or do what you've always wanted to do. Every new day is an opportunity to start over. Fears and what if's The only person stopping you is yourself. Do it afraid. Unnecessary spending. Do something today that your future self will thank you for---save and invest. Your past Obviously. Leave 2013 to 2013 and welcome 2014 with open arms. What are you leaving in 2013? Hey, did you find this post helpful or entertaining? Please go ahead and share. Share buttons on the left and at the bottom of the article. Big thanks! Subscribe to About Life And Love by Email
Lux Thinking Aloud My 2013 In A Nutshell 3:31 PM My 2013 in a nutshell: My 2013 has been a year full of twists, wonderful surprises and rediscoveries. My 2013 has been a year of meeting a lot of new people, reconnecting with old friends and reluctantly leaving a few behind. My 2013 has been a year of finding courage to leave what's not nourishing me, what's not making me happy anymore and what's holding me back. My 2013 has been a year of acceptance; I've stopped chasing things and people not worth my time and effort. My 2013 has been a year of boldness, of speaking up and not putting up with other people's sh*t. My 2013 has been a year of healing, emerging not as a perfect person but definitely an improved version of myself. My 2013 has been a year of humility; learning continuously and accepting the fact that I'm no better than anyone else. My 2013 has been a year of service and a little sacrifice that came with it. My 2013 has been a year of taking my health seriously (working out and being picky with what I eat), spending more wisely, trying out new things and going to places I've never been to before. My 2013 has been a year that made me feel more human and I daresay, more complete. My 2013 is the year I found, liked and fell in love with myself all over again. And, I declare that my 2014 can only be better. Hey, did you find this post helpful or entertaining? Please go ahead and share. Share buttons on the left and at the bottom of the article. Big thanks! Subscribe to About Life And Love by Email
Rants Just So You Know 12:57 PM When a woman is quiet it’s not because she doesn't know what to answer and you’re winning. She’s contemplating whether she should say what she thinks or if she’ll just let you think you're really smart and awesome you've left her dumbfounded. Just So You Know When you're still single at the age when "normal" people marry or start a family of their own, people look at you like you're a freak. Sometimes it’s amusing to see the looks on their faces, sometimes it’s flattering when they're surprised to know your age, sometimes it’s downright irritating. Especially when you hear comments from small minded individuals. People who think something’s wrong with you and not for a second think that there must have been a good reason why you chose to stay single instead of panicking like it’s the end of the world and you're doomed because no one’s “put a ring on it” yet. Honestly, I don't know if I'd ever get used to people who were born with a life mission of criticizing every single detail in your life like they're paid to do it. I’m torn between wanting to be a good Christian and unleashing that clawed bitch in me. As always, the good side wins. So I just bite my tongue and force a smile every time. And try with all the strength I could muster to NOT NOT speak my mind when addressing their comments. It’s like there’s this voice inside me saying, “Easy there, tiger. He’s not worth the energy”. So I back away and another poor person’s life has been spared from humiliation and utter harsh verbal combat from moi. When a woman is quiet it’s not because she doesn't know what to answer and you’re winning. She’s contemplating whether she should say what she thinks or if she’ll just let you think you're really smart and awesome you've left her dumbfounded. Just so you know. See also: Ramblings Of An Old Woman
Lux Thinking Aloud My Virtual Friend 9:28 AM The Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge Day 29: Who is your closest or most special friend that you've never met and what do they mean to you? How did you cross paths? Talk about how you “met” them: Facebook, Twitter, an online support group, etc. My Virtual Friend I have one good virtual friend whom I haven't met personally yet. We have a mutual friend, then we started texting regularly and he even gave me a Bible as a Christmas present. He was a seminarian then. Now he's a priest. We could talk about anything and everything under the sun. We argue and often agree to disagree. He gives me numerous advice about life and I'd give him my two cents. He asks me for medical advice too and he'll answer my spiritual inquiries. Our communication stopped when he got busy with priesthood and was assigned in a Catholic school. Still, whenever we get the chance to chat, it feels like the old times. It's been more than a decade since we started being friends. I'm glad I share this kind of friendship. A virtual friend whom I know is genuine compared to those I see face to face but are not 100% sincere.Amazing what technology can do, right?Bridging gaps, building friendships.Do you have a virtual friend you feel a genuine connection with?
Lux Thinking Aloud My Biggest, Boldest Move 7:43 PM Sometimes being strong is the only choice you've got left. The Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge Day 28: Describe a moment when you made a big, bold move. In any area of life: Career, Love, etc. My Biggest, Boldest Move The biggest, boldest move I did thus far is when I decided to work abroad. It is the boldest move I've made because I did not know what awaits me. I didn't have any problem with my job before that. I was paid well, I had great friends. Yet, I still chose to step out of my comfort zone and leave everything familiar in exchange for uncertainty risking everything I've got. I lost my savings because it took me a couple of months to find a job. When I finally found one, the job was easy but the people around me made it tough. I thought too that I was starting a good new relationship, but working away put an end to all that. When your morals contradict with what you are "forced" to do, something inside you just does not function well. I was constantly sick. There were times I literally couldn't breathe. Everything I've held on escaped from my grip. I started questioning God's purpose for me and even doubted myself. Fast forward to the present, that one bold and big move I did chiseled and polished a lot of rough edges in me. I held on to God like it's my only chance of surviving. Because let's face it...it was. I realized that earning more than double becomes useless when you are not happy and at peace with what you do. Looking back, that big change that happened brought me big realizations, introduced me to beautiful people and spared me from the relationship that I would have settled with. It showed me that sometimes being strong is the only choice you've got left. Like an eaglet, I was pushed at the edge of a high cliff by my Parent Eagle so I can learn the most important skill I need to learn. I learned that I can fly if only I would let go of the things that weigh me down. Hey, did you find this post helpful or entertaining? Please go ahead and share. Share buttons on the left and at the bottom of the article. Big thanks! Subscribe to About Life And Love by Email
Music Music: A Thousand Years (Christina Perri) 9:18 AM The Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge Day 26: Name a song that makes you cry every time you hear it and why The most touching song for me to date is Christina Perri's A Thousand Years. I've always loved listening to Christina Perri's songs via Youtube even before she sang Twilight's Breaking Dawn soundtrack. Her voice is strong and soothing. The waiting season is our pruning season; it is painful, and at the same time the most productive, the most fulfilling, the most significant and life-changing moment in our lives. It is in the waiting that our characters are being built. It is in the waiting that we reveal our true strength, our ingenuity, our limits and the endless possibilities that life offers us. It is in the waiting that we discover the beauty in ourselves and in others. It is in the waiting that we are being tested, torn and pushed around by life, which is also when we learn to fight back, push back and stand still. Also, the first verse of the song is like my song for God. The second verse is like His answer to me. It's a beautiful song. Well, the song does not really make me literally cry every time I hear it but it sure does tug in my heartstrings. "A thousand years of waiting" is just a metaphor but it does feel like a thousand years when you're waiting for something; a breakthrough, an answer to a prayer, a result or a partner. Let's remember that every day, we are one step closer A Thousand Years Christina Perri Heart beats fast Colors and promises How to be brave? How can I love when I'm afraid to fall? But watching you stand alone, All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow. One step closer I have died everyday waiting for you Darling, don't be afraid I have loved you For a thousand years I'll love you for a thousand more Time stands still Beauty in all she is I will be brave I will not let anything take away What's standing in front of me Every breath Every hour has come to this One step closer I have died everyday waiting for you Darling, don't be afraid I have loved you For a thousand years I'll love you for a thousand more And all along I believed I would find you Time has brought your heart to me I have loved you for a thousand years I'll love you for a thousand more One step closer One step closer I have died everyday waiting for you Darling don't be afraid I have loved you For a thousand years I'll love you for a thousand more And all along I believed I would find you Time has brought your heart to me I have loved you for a thousand years I'll love you for a thousand more Hey, did you find this post helpful or entertaining? Please go ahead and share. Share buttons on the left and at the bottom of the article. Big thanks! Subscribe to About Life And Love by Email
Books The Widower And I 12:54 PM The Widower And I It´s rare for someone to say something to you just a few words really and actually make you see yourself from a completely different vantage point. -How To Talk To A Widower This post contains affiliate links so we'd get a commission if you purchase through the links at no additional cost to you. The Widower And I This 22nd day of the The Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge: "What fictional character in a movie, TV show, or book do you identify with and why?" got me stuck for 4 days! It was so hard to pick one character that I could identify with. Actually, I knew who to write about the first time I saw the 22nd challenge---Doug in How To Talk To A Widower. I just had some hesitations. Doug is a guy and he is a widower! I'm a single woman in my 20s. If you haven't read How To Talk To A Widower yet, please PLEASE do!Especially if you like unpretentious characters like Holden Caulfield in The Catcher In The Rye. Doug was devastated when his wife Hailey died. He tries to live and to stay normal but he couldn't escape the ruthlessness of being lonely at night. He hates it when people feel sorry for him. He knows he'll be okay soon, but that doesn't mean he'll stop feeling the pain. He doesn't hurry up, he lets time heal him, he lets Hailey's memories comfort him, he allows himself to feel his love for her even after she's gone. He trips, he fails, he struggles through the cruelty of life, but he doesn't stop living. He tries to be okay. He knows he'll be okay. He is so human. So real, so gritty...so me. You'll laugh at his boo boos, you'll grieve with him, you'll feel his love, you'll love his imperfections. Let me write here again why I love Doug: I know exactly what it means to act as normal as possible for the world to see. I know how hard it is to hold on to something you used to have but isn't there anymore. I know how awful it is to deal with something that happened so abruptly, so sudden, and how cruel it is that the world would not even give you enough time to let it sink in first before it goes on. I know how crazy it is to get pissed and then feel guilty about getting pissed and then get pissed about feeling guilty. I know how difficult it is to cry yourself to sleep, wake up without feeling the purpose of waking up anymore but getting up anyway and showing the world you're still okay. I just know how messed up Doug felt and I’m glad that he made me realize I’m not alone, even if he’s just a fictional character. Between the Widower and I, we all have a Doug in us.
Lux Thinking Aloud Chillux. Cook, Chat And Chill With Lux 6:35 AM The Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge Day 21: How would you pitch a reality show about yourself? To what network? Chillux. Cook, Chat And Chill With Lux One of my fleeting childhood dreams was to have my own TV. show. Ironic because I've always been a timid kid. If I'd pitch a reality show for myself, it will most likely be shown on TLC or Food Network. It will be me welcoming friends at home or going to a friend's house and us cooking, eating and chatting the day away (got the idea from one of my fave local T.V. shows Spoon). No script, no by-the-book measurement of ingredients and just casual, sensible and fun conversation. Sharing interests, opinions and what-have-you's. I think that's what people need to SEE at the end of a very busy stressful day. I seldom cook now because I'd rather spend my time online, read a book or catch up on some zzzz's on my free time. I miss it though. Especially when I get the taste right and I see people enjoy the fruit of my labor. I also love simple, honest and casual conversations shared during a meal. It's where you really build relationships and get to know people. A heartwarming meal shared with people close to your heart. No complications, just good food, good times with good friends...exactly the way I want things to be. I think that's what people need to HAVE at the end of a very busy stressful day. Welcome to "Chillux". Let's cook, chat and chill with Lux! Not bad for a tagline, huh? Hey, did you find this post helpful or entertaining? Please go ahead and share. Share buttons on the left and at the bottom of the article. Big thanks! Subscribe to About Life And Love by Email
Lux Thinking Aloud 5 Things About Me That Will Surprise You 12:46 AM The The Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge Day 19: What is something about you that people would be surprised to learn? A few things about me that (some) people would be surprised to learn: 1. I curse like a sailor. Family and old friends know about this because they already heard me drop some expletives before. It will be a surprise to those I met maybe 3 years ago. I've stopped inserting swear words in my sentences a long time ago. But piss me off real good and I can bring out that foul mouthed bitch in me. 2. I've gone through a LOT of rejections, disappointments, betrayals, accusations and whatnot, (hey, who hasn't?) but I can still manage to smile, keep walking, keep moving forward, keep on living. 3. I am an investor. 4. I can punch really hard despite my small frame and skinny arms. 5. I am very intuitive. I sometimes dream about something before it happens. Sometimes I start thinking about someone out of the blue and later learn that something's going on with this person. Especially if we have a deep connection. Or most of the time I know what's going on but I refuse to say it because I want to hear it first from the person or I want to know how honest that person is. So most of the time if someone tells me something, it's not a confession, it's a confirmation (but of course I act surprised). I know, women. It's our gift and our curse. There are more, but I don't think I would want the world to know. How about you? What's your little secret? Surprise me. Hey, did you find this post helpful or entertaining? Please go ahead and share. Share buttons on the left and at the bottom of the article. Big thanks! Subscribe to About Life And Love by Email
Life Lessons 20 Things I Would Tell My High School Self 11:48 PM You may feel like it's the end, but it's only the beginning. The Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge Day 18: If you could have a conversation with yourself in high school, what would you say? There are things I would like to tell my high school self. Don't we all wish we have a time machine so we can go back and redo or undo a few things? I bet if we could, most of us will go back to high school. That's when majority of our boo boos happened. It's also when we met great people who became our lifelong friends, when we couldn't care less, when we learned some of the best life lessons, and when some wonderful moments happened. 20 Things I Would Tell My High School Self 1. You've got brilliant ideas! Don't be afraid to speak up and share it to the world. I used to always hold back in sharing especially during a class. I know the answers while the rest of my classmates would stare back blankly when a teacher asks a question. Then I'd hate hate hate it when the teacher would reveal the answer because it's exactly what I was thinking. This did not happen just once, but all throughout my student life. 2. Time is important. Discipline begins now. 3. Don't cut your hair too short! It won't be as lustrous as it is now when it grows back. 4. Haters are confused admirers. Enjoy the attention but continue to work on improving yourself. 5. Watch T.V. less. 6. Learn to say "no" as early as now. 7. Careful who you trust. Not everyone who calls you friend are really your friends. 8. ALWAYS wear lotion. 9. Eat more veggies! You'll thank me later. 10. Sleep, sleep, sleep. 11. Don't take life too seriously. You're only young once. 12. Sweet Valley is nice, but read more John Grishams and Sidney Sheldons. You'll never have enough time to read. 13. Now is the best time to start tithing and investing. 14. Go take that risk! 15. Don't use that product. 16. Everything will make sense a little later. 17. Keep on dancing! 18. It will sometimes suck, but just hang in there. 19. You are the only one stopping you. 20. You may feel like it's the end, but it's only the beginning. High school is a beautiful prerequisite to the real world. It exposed us to different kinds of people, allowed us to experience different things, gave us our highs and our lows, gave us a preview of what life is going to be, provided us our first taste of hellos and goodbyes. My high school self had a blast. I know I could have done better, I could have made wiser decisions and I could have been more cautious. If I could go back, I'd tell my high school self all these 20 things. But maybe I would also just let myself be, and watch myself trip, fall, laugh and discover life the way I did. That's where the fun really was. Hey, did you find this post helpful or entertaining? Please go ahead and share. Share buttons on the left and at the bottom of the article. Big thanks! Subscribe to About Life And Love by Email